Road to nowhere

He couldn't put taxes on pasties and caravans. A quick rummage down the back of the sofa didn't turn up much beyond the odd sock and a few stale blue chips. So wee Georgie Osbourne has to find some money from somewhere else. He's looking to renovate the country and needs lots of money. Billions of it in fact. And that, is an awful lot of wallpaper.

So he has hit on a new wheeze and I think that this time, he might finally have had a good idea. He wants to cadge some money from the rest of us, that bit the wiser ones amongst us who've got something squirrelled away. If he can get the money, from bonds that are usually issued in wartime, then he plans to spend it on the infrastructure, roads etc. Transportation superhighways.

With a few obvious reservations, this could be the most sensible idea he's had in 2 years. Naturally of course, if I'm going to lend him some money, then I would want a reasonable return on my investment. Something a bit better than what I get from the 2nd bank of Lichtenstein, might tempt me.

Secondly, I would like some recognition of my contribution to the greater good. The honours system is debased enough, so it would have to be something different. There are precedents for this. A small town in New Mexico, originally called Hot Springs, changed it's name to that of a quiz show and did rather well when it became Truth or Consequences. This could be extremely popular. If he plays his cards right, this could be a blockbuster of an idea and wouldn't be the weakest link in his financial strategy.

Certainly, I see no problem with corporate sponsorship getting in on the act, after all, they are the ones with the most readily available wads of cash and it might also have the added bonus of them wanting to move their corporate headquarters there. Nothing could signal better that Britain is open for business than naming places after businesses. What is wrong with Kentucky Fried Chingford, or Starbuckinghamshire?

Whilst I wouldn't want to sponsor the whole infrastructure of a town, I might want to have an initial small investment, to see how it was doing, before I committed myself further.

I rather think that the Laammergeier layby has a pleasant enough ring to it.